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So, I’ve been hanging out a cafe trying to get some work done. This Maple Skim Latte from Cocoa Bar NYC has been keeping me company:

So, last night the new TV show, Nashville, aired.


The show is about an “aging” (ahem, she looks amazing by the way) female country rock star (Connie Briton from Friday Night Lights) who begins to feel marginalized in the country music industry by a rising, young star (Hayden Panetierre).  How much will she compromise to maintain her level of fame? Entertainment Weekly calls it TV’s best new show, per that link above. Not that I’ve watched many of the new shows but it is definitely a very promising show. The pilot episode established complex relationships that could develop into some intriguing story lines. I loooove good TV dramas, so I’m definitely keeping an eye on this one!

So anyway, back to my point…As I was watching the show, one of the characters said something that struck me, and has had me thinking about how much agency we have in creating what happens in our lives. He said:

“Fate is what befalls a (wo)man who fails to act.

Destiny is for (wo)men who refuse to accept their failures as fate.

We’ve all had failures. Don’t let them define you, let them refine you.”

btdubs, parantheticals are mine because, umm 21st century?

It really hit home with me because lately, I feel like I’ve been accepting my status quo and rolling with the punches (failing to act) rather than getting in the ring and throwing the punches myself (refusing to accept failures as fate). It is not easy to act when you are acting against a major life failure (to me, that is a strong, stinging word). It is much easier to remain inert and to allow your obstacles, your problems, your failures to simply sit there, and for you to root yourself in front of those obstacles and say “oh well.”

Somehow, I’ve allowed that fatalistic mentality to consume me lately, mostly in my general life trajectory and career, which I’ve then allowed to leech into other parts of my life. BUT that is not me. That has never been me. I have always been a Type A personality; a go-getter; a workaholic with a tremendous amount of perseverance. I think that if you work hard enough, you can get what you want — but that if you don’t, you might have to manage your expectations or re-define success and failure in your book.

Sometimes when we suffer a stumble on our way to a larger goal, our failures seem so weighty, and we forget the amazing people we are, the tremendous feats we’ve accomplished and that our stumbles, our mistakes are opportunities to refine ourselves. What I think that Nashville quote is really getting at is that while there are certainly obstacles or circumstances in life we absolutely cannot control, what we can control is our reaction to these uncontrollable circumstances.

Sorry for the long rant, but sometimes I get in these funks and really need a good wake-up call to motivate myself. I know I’m also being a bit vague about what these life circumstances/failures have been for me, so sorry for that as well. Have you ever allowed a failure to de-rail you? How did you bounce back? 

Thanks for listening.